Relationships &Sex

Okay...I've gotta get this off my chest. I wasn't going to use this blog to talk about my own personal life, but I'm going to have to. I need to vent my relationship frustrations and I have no one else to talk to about it, but you. Thank you...
I've been involved in a serious relationship for over a year now. We live together. We have our ups and our downs...but who doesn't. I love him very much (and for those of you that have read my "there's no such thing as love" I was referring to that unchanging...passionate...classic movie type love).
Anyway, lately...he's been in a mood, which happens frequently. I'm convinced that men get PMS just like women just not as often. Well, he's been depressed about work and money (just like every other person on the planet I would imagine) and it's caused him to not be very affectionate or sexual at all.
Sex, to me, is a very important part of any intimate/romantic relationship. Am I right? Of course I am!
I've tried coming to him, but he ignores me. I've tried doing other little things to let him know that I'm thinking about him and that I support him and that everything with work and money will doesn't work. I'm fed up, to tell you that truth. I asked him if he was cheating. He says, " Of course not. I would never do that. I've made a commitment."
Unfortunately, his actions translate differently. And this isn't the first time that he's shut me out either. I get sick of this crap. I'm too old for this.
Why can't we all just be one way. Consistency...PEOPLE!!!! PLEASE!!! Do what you're supposed to do in relationships. Be there. Be a Friend. Be a Lover. Be Humble (at times). Sacrifice. Good grief!!! It can't be that hard.
My heart is hurting. I feel unattractive and unwanted. I'm not saying that sex = love, but being intimate is a reflection of love.
I feel much better, now that I've gotten that off my chest.
Thanks for listen...



October 15, 2008 at 5:58 AM

If the lull in intimacy is brought about by stress & work factors, you both may need to take a break from stress.

Here's a suggestion: If your partner is stressed & self-focused, try to show him a little comfort [a hot bath, a massage..You get the picture..]

Empathy can go a long way in these troubled times! You don't have to blame yourself for this situation, because that only makes things worse. The problem is one of living together. Make your house a home he can find comfort in, and sure as sunshine the sex shall follow.

Good Luck.



October 15, 2008 at 10:56 AM

I have actually tried those things that you've mentioned. I've given him a massage, brought him breakfast in bed, little love notes in his lunch bag...etc. I understand he's tired, but this has been going on for a few weeks now. It hurts being ignored when you love someone so much. Sometimes I think it would be easier to be alone. Then maybe it wouldn't hurt so bad.


October 16, 2008 at 9:13 AM

I hope you got the private message I sent you. I have gone through asimilar situation. You're not alone.


October 16, 2008 at 5:48 PM


It's easy for me to say what you should do, but I'm not in the relationship; I don't know the dynamics. But I would continue to try dialog, letting him know (without condemning him) that things are hurting you. Somtimes we guys can get self-absorbed, but when we hear our woman say, "they're hurting", we want to respond. I'm gonna give your guy the benefit of the doubt here, "if he still has brain cells working"; he should hear your voice.